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Friday, January 27, 2012

Bittersweet moment

Last night our newest addition to the family began sitting independent and standing to play at a toy. She is six months. While I was elated for my Julia I felt a sense of sadness and anger for Hayden. My sweet Hayden struggled to do these tasks. He truly was not able to I say comfortable sit with stability until 2.  I know I should not feel this way but I can't help it! These are days that make me so angry for him and question again why this had to happen to my sweet boy? It just is not fair. I did everything right with both pregnancies. I did not drink, smoke, or even eat lunch meat when pregnant with Hayden. These are the days I say it is just not fair.

He is working so so hard on walking. Every night he wants to show his baby sister how to walk. My heart breaks that it is so difficult for him.  I pray every day that a miracle is granted and my baby boy can walk on his own. I am trying not to give up faith but I see just how hard it is for him.  However, I know time has been on our side. While it has been a long journey it is a journey that has provided me with so much strength.

I love you Hayden. You are the best thing that happened to your mommy's life. xoxo

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