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Monday, April 23, 2012

Monday Morning Brain dump

What a busy weekend for our family. It started with a physical for me and a lovely dtap vaccine. My arm is still killing me from where the vaccine was injected. I feel terrible for my two babies who endured this much pain in their early years of life.  Next, we had Julia's 9 month check up. These well visits cause me so much anxiety! I also feel terrible for having the feelings I do, I love Hayden so much why am I worried Julia will be like him? Being like Hayden would be wonderful since he is an amazing child however, I do not want things to come as hard for my baby girl.  Miss Julia is growing up so fast, nine short months have flown by so quickly.  She has finally doubled her birth weight now weighing in at 16 pounds 10.5 oz and 26.5 inches long. She has mastered many things her big skill now is army crawling, which Julia is incredibly fast.  The doctors said Julia seems to be developing great the only two things she isn't doing yet is getting into a sitting position on her own or pulling to stand.  Instant panic set in I began asking questions why is she not doing this yet? Why do I always think about what my children are not doing? Is it because that normal childhood experience was taking away from me with Hayden? Why am I scared of Julia not doing those things? Hayden is wonderful, Hayden is a rock star, Hayden is determined, Hayden is the happiest child I know, and Hayden is perfect.  I surely want Julia to be perfect but honestly what is perfect. Perfect has so many definitions and my perfect may not be everyone else's perfect.

After Julia's visit I took her to daycare and off I went to my monthly Partner's in Policy Making program. This program has been much more than I ever expected. I applied for this program for a couple of reasons:  to learn about resources for Hayden and networking. What I did not expect was to meet some fabulous people who  have become my friends. Friends that I realized that I need in my life.  They are parents of children with various disabilities such as Autism and Downs Syndrome. Despite their children not being impacted with the same disability as Hayden we can all relate to what is going on in our lives. Our children are close in age, which makes it nice because we are on the same path in our lives right now. I look forward to seeing them once a month and I am eager to hear all of the news that is happening in their lives. I am blessed to have met them and can see us staying connected even when we graduate our program in September. This month I had to cut my session short because Hayden had opening day for baseball.

Speaking of opening day it was amazing. Hayden was so happy to be apart of opening day why would this day not be amazing?  We got individual and team pictures and played in our first "real" baseball game. The smile on his face just made it all worth it. Hayden loves baseball and wants to go play every day. How can you deny such a sweet boy from playing an all american game? I am thankful that I was made aware of the program and that they allowed Hayden to play at 4. I must say my son is a rock star ball player, he can hit the ball off the tee and throw the ball very well. Thank you for all the years in physical therapy for making this possible for my little man.  Wow, I  have written a ton so I will let you digest all my rambling and hope to write soon.

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