Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Ironically as I wrote yesterday about Hayden's heart I receive an email today about scheduling his cardiac appointment. I am relieved to go back again but nervous at the same time. I hate that Dr. Google has me so stressed about Hayden's cardiomegaly. I worry what this means for his future, I worry that I need to see a cardiologist, I worry that my baby girl needs to be checked out, I just overall am worried. I feel like I have taken a million steps backwards in his journey. We have been on such a great road. A road filled with negative test results, a road with a diagnosis of cerebral palsy, a road of positive improvements and then bam. We are hit with the unknown heart condition. I am trying really hard not to overreact but it is so hard not to. I want this to just be his normal heart size. I want nothing else to be wrong for my sweet boy. Please let nothing be wrong with my baby boy. I wish his hard time would just turn into simple life. I am sure I will write about this some more but it felt good just putting my feelings down somewhere.