Staying in the hospital is counterproductive especially when you have so much time to think. It has been a challenging five days for me. I have watched my daughter go through so much and it breaks my heart. However, being here and the only things to do are to think and visit Dr Google can cause a recipe for disaster. If anyone knows me I research, I research online, in books, and by questioning medical professionals. AI offers a fantastic online medical history site while this site is great, it can be bad, as well. Last night I spent time reviewing the sixteen test that have come back for Julia. That is right sixteen!! The doctors have said they all looked good except the lumbar puncture results. I know this and this is why we are still here. This did not stop me from using Dr Google on other results that showed high or low values. It was a vicious cycle I think I was on the verge of a panic attack. I quickly was reminded by my cousin and friends to stop doing this to myself. I listened but my mind still raced. It makes it difficult to sleep and difficult to remain positive.
Today I was awake around 5:30 ish the construction at the hospital was starting. The first round of attending doctors arrived at 7:20 which woke Julia up. I never understand why this happens but I know there are other children to see throughout this hospital. They will be back around 930-1030 hopefully with the lyme's disease results and hopefully with going home. I am ready to be home. Ready to shower and sleep in my house instead of the hospital. I am ready to move on the path of recovery.
Julia is very happy now which means she is starting to feel like her old self. I am amazed at my daughters strength. How did she get to be so brave? Yesterday she decided to pull her iv out she was over it:) unfortunately they tried putting it back in. Just like her mommy she has tricky veins that we decided to stop poking her. Instead I opted to give her the antibiotic via an injection. At 12:40 last night a team of five came in. My sweet girl had to endure three shots at once. It was so hard for me to see. It burned she cried and needed mommy love before settling down for the night. I almost forgot to mention Julia was crawling around slowly with Hayden yesterday and she was playing with her friend Natalie. These are promising signs.
Now we wait for more test results and I pray we are released today. I also cannot thank everyone enough for the texts, Facebook comments and for my friends and family who will talk to me throughout the night. Even at 1 and 2 am. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love each of you more than you can know. I know Bob and I are blessed with an amazing support group that you don't realize until situations like these. So until my next report much love Renee & Julia AI DuPont 3F residents.